Off to SFO

Flying off at 9am tomorrow to San Francisco for another press junket!! And since I have a free day on the 31st I'm gonna take another flight to LA to meet Michelle (Phan) and jet back!! So exciting! Flight within a flight - INCEPTION!!

I know the Peter Coffin topic is getting stale and blah blah lay off him in case he commits suicide but I'm still gonna blog a final conclusion post! And I'm not gonna try to hate on him more, but instead trying to, erm, clear his name.

Afterall, people who are following the saga would have known that since his name got villified everywhere, Peter has not being hiding. No sire! He took to twitter and reddit to change public opinion and even gave a phone interview!

His official stance (I think) is that Kimi is not created by him and somehow duped him into the saddest internet love story ever seen. But he seems to... waver a little in his statements so for those of you interested, here they are, chronologically:

First things first. Let's establish that Kimi Koyabashi, whether "she" was created by Peter Coffin or not, is NOT a female. I can say with almost 100% certainty that even the least feminine of females will not talk about how her vagina looks like a pug, or worse, bother to answer all these dumb sexual questions. (Scroll down more to read the ridiculous questions answered)

Right, girls write tweets like that.

Now we go back to about 15 months ago (my bad, not 8 months, which is when he admitted on twitter that they were a power couple), in December 2010 when Peter got to know Kimi.

Is Peter really allowing some random dude watch him sleep over webcam? CREEPY.

Fast forward 1 year 3 months, on March 16th something happened:

Someone found out Kimi is fake and notified Peter not only via a private email, but also posted it on his blog.

And the below is Peter's comment.

• Kimi is definitely a woman
• Kimi looks like Lee Na Young
• Kimi left the internet coz she was exposed

March 17th:

Kimi deleted her twitter and tumblr.

Now Peter claims:

•  He is actually still in a relationship with Kimi, despite finding out Kimi is using a Korean Ulzzang's photos.

March 24th, after the expose on my blog:

Now Peter claims:

• The girl who was in a relationship with him for over a year, and is STILL in a relationship with him, who looks like Lee Na Young... He is suddenly not sure who she is.

And he wants her to be real... Why is he heartbroken when she IS real, totally gorgeous to boot?? Didn't she just chat with him on the phone etc? Aren't they still together, braving through this?



March 25th, Posted on Reddit:

• Peter now has "literally" no idea who made Kimi up.

Wait... I'm really confused now. So he found out this girl (as improbable as that is) was using someone's fake photos. Then he was sad for like a day while Kimi deleted evidence, but was since he saw how she looks like and she is pretty like Lee Na Young, he forgave her and declared they are still an item.

Logical question 1: When you find out your girlfriend has been impersonating someone online, you are ok with that? You won't find out who she really is before deciding to forgive her? So how can he have no idea who made Kimi up?

Logical question 2: Presumably, since Kimi has been with Peter for over a year now, she must have developed feelings for him since no one can play a prank for so long. Where is she when he so needs her clarifications now? Why isn't she admitting that she created these fake profiles to save her boyfriend from so much embarrassment?

 

Peter on Village Voice

Wait, no... WHAT? Now he is fearing he has been speaking to a man?? Kimi is a tranny???


And then this, my favourite:

From a redditor who fb messaged Peter.

WOAH!! Scottish Asian! Super exotic!

Here's Peter answering why he didn't fly to New York to meet Kimi

So now we know... Kimi is from Scotland, is of an ambiguous gender and is totally mystical when she comes to whether or not she EXISTS!!!

Some people argue she does, some people argue she doesn't. Other claim video and photographic footage of her existence.



OH MY GOD GUYS I SOLVED IT.

I FOUND OUT WHO KIMI IS!!

Peter was dating........

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Wait for it

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THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!!

LOL... Seriously, here's a printscreen of their conversation:

Ok I made that up.

By now you should have realised I am not exactly clearing Peter's name. Seriously, after he started emo-tweeting I felt really guilty and decided not to bother him anymore. He sounded genuinely sad.

Then he went to Reddit and tried to smear my name in order to get the attention away from him. So fuck him.

Alright I know blah blah this is too much. Last post on Coffin I swear!


p/s: His "legal team" letter plagiarized from HERE.

Hey look! Out of nowhere a photo of me!

*************************************

Advertorial

Please help vote for me!!

Would you rather see The GMP Group find Kumar, a parrot (yes a parrot), or me a new dream job? They can find jobs for literally anyone if they can find jobs for us HAHAHA!

So if you wanna "sabotage" me, go ahead and vote HERE!

Peter Coffin is his own legal team

Hello! The story unfolds!

Received an email from Peter Coffin!!

Lawyerly disclaimer time: The reproduction of this letter and the contents therein shall not be construed as any admission of liability on my part and without prejudice to my rights, defences and remedies under any applicable laws.

The above is written by a real lawyer (I'm sure older readers can guess who) because I have real friends :D

Lawyer friend: "Censor the firm's name if you are going to post."

Me: "There is no firm, it's sent under his own email."

Lawyer friend: "Ew gross."

And guess what???????

"Chapter 21 section 7 Singapore law" is.......


THE BETTING ACT

Section 7 reads:

Money paid recoverable.
7. —(1) Any money or valuable thing received by any person convicted under section 5 (3) as a deposit on or in settlement of any bet or wager shall be deemed to have been received to or for the use of the person from whom it was received.
(2) Such money or valuable thing, or the value thereof, may be recovered accordingly with full costs of suit in any court of competent jurisdiction.

LOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is he full of FAIL or what??? So embarrassing to anyhow reference the wrong section!

What rubbish.


(LINK to video in case he disables embedding)

Ironically, that video announcing he is turning into a full-time youtube artiste has only 976 views since December 2010. And he says people care about his videos say whhhhhhhhhuuut?

So here's evidence. You need attention to do well in your job and instead of letting you whore for it, I'm giving you a substantial amount of free publicity!

It's like instead of having to suck cock for money, someone sucks your cock AND gives you money. Your google ad dollars must be jumping off the meter! AND YOU WANT TO SUE ME?? WHY??

Btw I'm gonna be charging you $3,500 for this blog entry. Most effective advertorial ever. Otherwise, how can you get on Reddit and somehow manage to get Michelle Phan and Ray William Johnson to link ya?

Right. I knew he was gonna go this route because it is the easiest way out.

Here's my opinion on why I think that Kimi is Peter:

1) Their writing style is exactly the same, and very distinctive.

2) Kimi has only flirted with Peter before. Only linked Peter before. Only commented on Peter's youtube videos before. She exists... For Peter?

Kimi's profile is certainly not written by a female and if it's a guy... well gay guys don't go for ugly men. I mean seriously, if you are gonna create a fake profile to flirt with someone, why Peter Coffin? Not famous, not funny, not good-looking. Choose Zac Efron maybe!

That leaves the option that it's written by a straight man perhaps trying to trick Peter.

If that is so, Kimi should have exposed him good instead of deleting her twitter and blog like a scared puppy!

And where is Kimi now? Shouldn't he/she be defending Peter??


3) Peter has proclaimed many times how he is so smitten with Kimi. IF you have a girlfriend of 8 freaking months, is it even POSSIBLE that you have never met her or webcammed with her?

Their conversations (more than one) suggests physical contact. So.... Maybe Peter is half blind and was screwing a girl who was wearing a sack on her head with Lee Na Young's photo crudely printed on it?


4) When a reader of mine confronted Peter that Kimi is a Korean ulzzang, guess what the asshole's response was? "She exists. This is a complicated/private issue and I wish people would stop asking me about it."

He has since deleted the tweet (something to hide?) but I have a witness ok?

How would your reaction be when you find out you have been dating a fake girlfriend for 8 months? FURIOUS? Madly disappointed? Shocked?

Definitely not insisting that she is real and defending her still, right????

5) Even if Kimi is not Peter, which I'm sure nobody believes, my blog entry established that Peter is a loser. He is STILL a loser with a fake/imaginary girlfriend whom he is in love with despite never meeting or fucking her for the whole 8 months he was dating her.

Add naive to that too, since he believes someone who looks like that would ever fall in love with him. LOL

Dude, Michigan is just a 2 hour flight away from New York where Kimi is. If you can't afford a flight there you can't afford a lawyer to sue me, so.... *shrugs*.

WTF is this? Did he just... prove point 2 correct? Thanks for admitting you insulted me unprovoked 5 times.

And btw, saying you insulted me does not constitute as defamation. But you insulting me... maybe. Can I have the 5 insults please? I am considering countersuing you. I'm sure the jury would love me. :D

Hate to repost shit but here it is, a barrage of your racist jokes:

Or is that Peter Coffin dude not you either?

WHAT???????? NOoooooooooooo... This is too exciting for words!!

Please, send in those documents of you flirting with "Kimi" in the affidavit!! I'd LOVE to reproduce them on my blog, please please please!!

OMFG is he psycho enough to send private emails to himself omgomgomg wtf

"Peter Coffin / Legal Team"? Which one is it? Make up your mind!!

Mike: "If he is his own girlfriend obviously he'd be his own legal TEAM too."

p/s: Your legal team spelt 'repetition' wrong.


I call your bluff, Peter. Not the first time this has happened (the "lawyer's" letter).

Just letting you know, the last time it did the person is still suffering the consequences of it. But at least she didn't insult me by not even bothering to use a real lawyer. I suggest you let this die down quietly instead of pissing me off more.

Hey you might wanna get to know her, she creates multiple personalities to praise herself too! Oh and Asian as well! But she claims not to be fully Asian so just to let ya know.

Couldn't resist.

Personalised for you Peter, with ya favourite scarf!

Peter Coffin is a loser

I think today's blog post is gonna be interesting!!

It's all about this guy called Peter Coffin:

A little background. He is an American douchebag dude doing Youtube videos and the videos are like mostly lame parodies or something (I don't know, I can't finish watching even one). Link here. Warning, douchebaggery ahead.

Anyway, I wouldn't give two fucks about this dude if not for the fact that he consistently undermines me and insults me on twitter.

He seems to have a problem with girls who photoshop their pics, put on make up, had plastic surgery (his views on Kim Kardashian) or are just vain in general. I mean I understand most, if not all men, prefer natural beauty, but it's not like I'm freaking pushing my face into his view, am I? I'm so far away from him physically, why can't he just unfollow me instead of attacking me all the time??

He actually reminds me of those crazy homophobes who like have an abnormal hatred for girly boys and have to beat them up - except he does that with vapid females. I'm guessing he has been picked on by them in high school.

I couldn't find his older hate comments on me but here's the latest, after I announced I had a nose job revision:

So I replied:

Speechless, here's what he tweeted:

What in fuckery's sake is this rubbish? Don't pretend you give a shit about me being a role model. Really? If you cared so much about being the perfect role model, then why are your own tweets and videos so vulgar?

And since my nose job is sponsored, it is not relevant me buying yachts (??) at all.

I do find it however pretty revealing that he mentioned being not good enough. See above High School theory.


OKOK I'm long-winded but I swear I haven't got to the interesting parts yet.


So I blocked that moron, and guess what?

Along comes a chick called "Kimi Kobayashi" who also starts insulting me.

She is Peter's girlfriend, and she looks like this:

Like super pretty!

She is Japanese. Also, her twitter had 17k followers so she's actually pretty popular.

So I tweeted some nasty reply to her and blocked her. So annoying that she's so hot wtf.


And things started getting suspicious...



2 days later, Kimi not only locked up her twitter and stopped tweeting, she deleted her Tumblr too.


I started thinking something isn't right so I went to see Peter's twitter:

So apparently Kimi was sick of being a Twitter comedian!

That is weird, because ALL SHE DID WAS TO BE A TWITTER COMEDIAN:

 

Some of her tweets cached

No personal tweets. No talking about girly issues like hair or shopping or boyfriends. And girls who look like Kimi (and snaps photos of themselves to post online) will NEVER be so other-centered, ok?

Just crude, lame jokes.

The jokes sound familiar? YES. THEY SOUND LIKE PETER.

I suppose you can guess where I'm heading to... So to further confirm my suspicions, I looked at Kimi's twitpic stream (Worth a click!), and here are some of the pictures:

This one really got me... 

Would ANY girl take a photo with her friends and write a nasty caption like that???

A penis? That is realistic how?

Kimi is made up to be a nubile 18 year old girl (who doesn't wear make up, according to the captions), and she is JAPANESE living in New York.

How come there are Korean words on the pictures then?


And more importantly, where is PETER in all these photos???


So I asked on twitter - Does anyone recognise the girl in the photos??

Two of my awesome readers helped me check it out and guess what???


SHE IS A KOREAN ULZZANG!!

Her name is Lee Na Young. She is not Japanese, probably not 18, not Kimi Kobayashi, and most definitely not dating Peter Coffin!

Her pics, available here and here, were stolen from her website by a complete loser and used as a pawn for his own validation and popularity!!!!!!!!

(In other words Peter stole her photos and created a fake profile to be his girlfriend!!)

So here begs the question... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM???


I printscreened some of the funnier stuff:

HAHAHAHA! Can you imagine that fucker flirting to and fro with himself and thinking he found his soulmate??

It's so ridiculous that people would believe that that's two different people tweeting each other. The writing style is exact the same.

LOL... I'm sorry but even if Kimi is real, which she isn't, the term "power couple" are reserved strictly for good-looking or famous people. You are fugly and not famous. And she doesn't exist, so neither of you qualify.

Aww so sweet

Think someone was feeling unloved...

I wish Mike was so passionate...

I'm glad she likes the carbs idea coz it's crap. It doesn't symbolize the love for bread at all coz many other things are "carbs". Like pasta. Or rice. Or potatoes. But that's me being "endlessly contemplative" isn't it? LOL

Vomit.(More about the racism thing later)

Are you wondering why Peter wrote this?

It is because he also created a "Kimi" youtube account to....... COMMENT ON HIS OWN VIDEOS!

IS THIS FUCKING FUNNY OR WHAT?

I can't believe he wrote about the loser who can't find a REAL woman part... With the REAL in caps! Is he trying to hint to us the obvious??

Anyway there are a lot of more of these, you can see 'em HERE!! Only one friend in her youtube account. Guess who? LOL


Besides tweeting, youtube trolling, twitpic-ing, would you believe "Kimi" also blogs?

Gotta love Peter for his creativity... Randomly finding some Korean kids and wondering if they are ok in the Japanese disaster, all to boost his righteousness.

I think they are coz they are in KOREA!

WE ASIANS ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE, FUCK YOU.

And I love how he is like psycho enough to come up with all these crazy details about "Kimi", like she really exists!!

MAD OR WHAT?????

Also gotta love how he slanders Lee Na Young's name with his childish commentary.

And cleavage is funny because...?

Anyway... After looking through "Kimi's" stuff, I realised that Peter loves to use her to talk about the Asian race A LOT. It's like he is fucking obsessed with Asians or something!!

Here are some (Text in black are captions by Peter):

Mocking the way Asians take photos

Coz we only eat rice

Is it really?

I don't usually play the race card. I don't give a shit whatever insults people hurl at my race. Call me a chink it's fine. But there is something just really cringe-worthy about a NON-ASIAN making all these Asian jokes!!

And seriously, he seems to be only capable of making racist jokes!

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Ladies and gentlemen,

Here's his twitter page if you feel like insulting someone today.

p/s: He was in a relationship with himself for 8 whole months. How tragic.

Really gotta love it when I find out these dark secrets about my haters. You picked on the wrong bitch, motherfucker. ;)