Trust

Everytime that I'm with my friends without Mike being there, if I call him I often ask suspiciously where he is, what he is doing, and whether he is cheating on me.

And without fail anyone who overhears my conversation will be like "OMG how can you not trust your own husband?"

LOL. I don't. Why should I? Name me ONE upside to blindly trusting ANYBODY. And my attitude has nothing to do with Mike. I'd explain.

Just look at all those who have suffered from being cheated upon. What do they say?

They say things like...

"I can't believe he would do this to me."

"I can't believe he has been sleeping with her for 4 freaking months and I didn't even know! How was I so blind and stupid?"

"All those times he said he was on a company dinner there was no dinner! I believed him for 18 freaking times and he went prostituting ALL THOSE TIMES!"

and most commonly of all...

"I can't believe I trusted him."

And this doesn't just apply to cheating. What about all those girls with sex tapes leaked out by their ex boyfriends? You think they are stupid and they trusted the wrong dudes? That your partner will NEVER do that to you? That you are the clever one? Wake up. I've seen the MOST unlikely men cheat.

Cecilia Cheung trusted Edison Chen to never show the close-up shots of her long-haired vagina to anyone. And there is it, on the net, forever. Sure he didn't mean to distribute it - but if she never trusted that he could safekeep it forever, this would never have happened to her.

So back to me and my attitude towards trust. It seems silly to me that people put so much heart into that little word. They say "He would never hurt me. I just know. I trust him. "

And I think... So what if you don't? Is it a bad thing, really? Is that supposed to be an insult on his character? Is he supposed to be ANGRY?

Nothing to be angry about what. Everyone needs to safeguard their self-interests.

You say you trust someone... To what extent do you do that? Do you give him your bank password? Would you let him do a video tour of your genitalia? Would you place him and Megan Fox on a deserted island with a condom? Probably not. Nobody trusts ANYBODY that much, unless they are completely naive.

As for me, I trust that Mike will never choose a banana over an orange. Because he hates bananas and these things don't change. I'm willing to put a $1,000 bet on it. But probably not my whole fortune.

I trust (not 100% but maybe 95%) that Mike will not, for example, see a girl at some event and go ask for her phone number. Because I know his character is shy and he is afraid someone might see him do this and report to me. But if he is drunk... Who knows?

Trust is such a funny thing. People always say it needs to be earned, needs to be built.

After some time of interacting with something, certain things can be depended on.

Like I trust that my blackberry will push my emails on time because it has never once failed to do it in 2 years. I trust that my McChicken will taste the same as it has always tasted.

Over the course of 5 years, never once has Mike flirted back with girls who show interest in him, whether online or in real life. Yet I don't trust that he would never cheat on me. Why?

1) People change. Today he is madly in love with you. Tomorrow he is bored. The next day he is bored AND drunk. Day after that he is bored, drunk, horny and had a fight with you. Who knows? The only thing you can depend on is... People change with time. Even if their personalities remain identical, their feelings towards you might change.

2) Circumstances change. Sure, in these 5 years Mike has never met a girl he liked so much he is willing to give up everything with me. Tomorrow... Who knows? If he meets and gets to know 1,000,000 girls, there has got to one he finds is better than me, no matter how much he loves me. Right?

3) Consequences are bigger. And this is the best reason not to trust that your partner will not stray. CONSEQUENCES. It is my fucking heart at stake here! And my marriage! It is easy to trust when the consequences are small. I pay $2 to my usual chicken rice stall because I trust it will be yummy as always. Not yummy no big deal, I'd buy from another stall - net loss $2 and some time.


But if I believe Mike will never stray, when he does, I'm gonna be fucked.

You are shaking your head, thinking, "You dumb blonde, even if you don't trust, either way you are fucked. If it happens it happens!"

You are wrong. Sure, I'd still be heartbroken. But wait...

Prevention is better than cure

I know I've mentioned this many times.

When you remain vigilant about your partners actions, you are working hard to PREVENT him from committing a mistake. He knows you are checking his phone - there goes flirty smses. He knows you have all his passwords - can't woo girls online.

If you know where he is every minute, he can't go to a hotel without arousing your suspicion. Sure he can work his way around all these but it is hard work. That's another deterrent. If he is willing to do all that to cheat, so be it. But I sure won't make it easy for him.

He wants to go to a dirty KTV bar with his gross colleague. He swears he won't do anything with the girls there. Put your foot down and don't allow! You want to trust he won't get a hooker or prevent him from meeting one? Which has worse consequences? Explain to him why it makes you uncomfortable, then placate him with a blowjob.

And if you find out some chick is mildly interested, you confront her, shame her, threaten her. You puff up your feathers and make sure she knows you will not go in peace. Worse come to worst you be nice to her so she gets so guilty she stops her nonsense.

When you are so suspicious, won't it piss him off?


If he has nothing to hide, he would not get angry. Obviously I don't do my routine checking in an awful way. I just log in to his fb, take up his phone to read when he is sleeping. He doesn't even know. If your man gets annoyed, it is the first sign that he IS possibly cheating on you. Maybe not full out cheating, but flirting, yes. Or that he wants to be able to. He is probably hiding something. Am I paranoid? Maybe. But from personal dating experience, those demanding privacy and space are the exact ones who are cheating.

Mike has never once got angry with me when I checked his phone or facebook. "Go ahead," he says. "You are just wasting your time." And he is right, I was. And he reads my shit too, in case you think this only goes one way.



Cheating is just like cancer - you want to win it, you've got to find out early. Half the battle is won when you kill the sapling before it turns into a full grown weed, throttling your relationship.

If he is just at the "getting to know" stage with some girl - you find out, you have a talk with him to resolve things. Make sure he won't see her again. You want to wait till he is in love? Too late.

If he is already sleeping with someone else, when you find out you can plan your next step. If you are married, you can hire a PI - submit evidence to court and get half his fortune. Cease sleeping with him in case you get some disease. Cut off his penis. Or forgive him, depending on the severity of his crime.

Why, do you want to wait till he had an affair for months and impregnated the slut before you say "OMGWTFBBQ KILL ME NOW MY KID HAS A STEP SIBLING AND I HAVE AIDS"?

Some of you might be saying... Why work so hard to prevent that seems unavoidable? If he cheats, he won't be worth it anyway.

Rubbish. ALL men would cheat if there are no consequences. I sincerely believe that. Some don't because they don't wanna hurt us. Some because they are scared of losing us. Some because of kids, social ramifications, anything.

Most commonly of all, men cheat because they made a mistake, thinking with their penis, enjoying the attention - THINKING THEY WON'T BE CAUGHT.


And when you blindly trust, that's when they are most certain they will never get caught.


Every few days I remind Mike how his life will be like if he is dumb enough to cheat. And I WILL find out. Money be gone/he will never find someone as good as me again/penis cut etc. Just in case he forgets.


I'm sure a lot of you don't agree with my school of thought, saying, "You must be all sad, paranoid and worrisome all the time. That's not how love is supposed to be like. I pity Mike."

LOL duncha worry. Mike and I are happy and in love.

Obviously I *do* trust him because he is a good man with principles. But just not enough to 1) fully believe he will NEVER cheat and 2) not do my best to try to prevent it from happening.

If the day comes and he strays, I'd say "Oh well at least I tried my best. And at least I was not duped for ages."

What do you think? Do you trust your partner?

Those of you who got cheated on, did you trust your partner? Do you still trust now?

Hongkong 2011

Woohoo!!!! As some of you already know I went on a trip to Hong Kong and Otaru, Hokkaido with Cheesie!

The reason why we went together is because this is a sponsored trip and the kind sponsor, Park Hotel Group, has a hotel in Hong kong as well as Otaru!!

THIS TRIP WAS AWESOME OMG. The service was fantastic, shopping was awesome, our hotels were so cozy, and I couldn't have asked for a better travel partner wtf.

Seriously! First, Cheesie and I have the same interests and like the same stuff be it food or shopping - so none of that visiting cultural sites crap. Then at the crack of dawn or something Cheesie bolts awake with her alarm (she does not EVER snooze) and by the time I'd done with my 15 min snooze she is already done with her makeup and has begun camwhoring. -_- And she plans everything. Usually planners are useful but picky and authoritative but she is super easy-going. And then she can speak fluent Cantonese (which I can too) AND Japanese (which I can't). Ok I'd stop with the Cheesie praise wtf this is not a cheesy advert.

Anyway I arrive about 30 mins before Cheesie who came from KL, so I picked her up at the airport:

And this is our matching luggage wtf. I was planning on bringing my American Tourister one but it's just a tad too small for a 7 day trip and I wanted to be matchy with Cheesie so I took my giant pink one!

Park Hotel staff picked us up in a LIMO so of course I just had to camwhore with the car.

Here's the interior of our room!! I was surprised at how spacious it is considering how small HK hotel rooms usually are! It had a living area and an extra toilet too! Love it.

Actually we were given a room each but we bunked together. Such a waste! We contemplated secretly selling out the other room to a random tourist, but didn't.

It was about 12am by the time we arrived so we went out for supper at a restaurant near the hotel. Super shocked that a lot of them are actually still open!

Park Hotel is located in Tsim Sha Tsui. Super convenient.

Here's my after-flight look. I brought only 1 comfy tee (which I am wearing) so that I'd be forced to look pretty the rest of the days. Fail. I wore this tee for about 4 times.

Cheesie and I with our dimsum. It's not bad but not crazy fantastic.

Siew mai with quail egg. Har kow.

After our meal we went to buy some dessert from a very famous chain called 許留山. We bought durian mochi and bird's nest egg pudding!!

... Only to realise that the hotel already provided us with blueberry cheesecake, cookies, and fruits for dessert. -_-

Durian mochi is yummy! Pudding I don't like... Has a gingery taste. Cheesie said "Eat the top, that's where the good stuff is", pointing to the birds' nest and proceeded to goggle it up.

Taiwanese sausage potato chips at the back really tastes like taiwanese sausage. LOL!!

Next day!! Can't believe purely by chance we brought such similar skirts to wear lol. Hers also has the same lace up thingy as mine. And I have that same bag and also almost took it to Hongkong wtf.

Here's my camwhoring shot again. Cheesie said my fringe is super weird and kept laughing at me. So I took a pair of scissors and trimmed it. Problem solved.

And since I'm using a lot of Cheesie's photos from her camera I thought I'd just include one of her camwhoring shots too, plus PS it swee swee for her.

LOL!! That woman seriously took like at least... 100? camwhoring self-shots!!

Us at the hotel brekkie!

Love their porridge!! You can put unlimited amount of whatever egg you want inside! :D

Will we ever stop?

Buffet line

And it's time for shopping!!!!! If it's your first time to HK, just remember that shopping malls there only open from like 12pm onwards. Some malls even open at 1 or 2! So plan your morning doing other nonsense.

Once you step out of the rather peaceful and quiet hotel, you will suddenly land in the bustling, noisy city outside:

It cannot be in a better location!! Super a lot of food, shopping, cabs... Anything you can possibly need. I love hotels that are close to convenience stalls too coz I love to buy food back to snack on.

Wanted to dine at this cafe but didn't have the chance to.

We wanted to go to this shopping mall called 新の城 which has supposedly awesome shopping with loads of gyaru stuff but we were in a bind wondering how to pronounce it when it has a Japanese "no" in it.

So I thought of writing it on the iphone and showing it to the cab driver:

Er... Turns out the の is pronounced as 之. Vomit blood.

It's located on Argyle Street. None of us could pronounce that word so we were just like "that Arrghhh place" the whole day. LOL

Cheesie and I buying matching mustard hair bows.

Both of us bought a super expensive maxi dress at about $50 at the first shop we went to, called "C.S"

And you guessed it. Only to realise every other shop was selling the same dress for LESS THAN HALF the price. We were so freaking pissed and Cheesie insisted on going to the shop to confront the salesgirl. I thought she'd be yelling and making a loud din, refusing to leave till we get another dress free or something but instead she spoke in such a soft little gentle voice lol the salegirl made up some excuse that her boss set the price not her so we had no choice but to leave. Oh well.

But don't buy from them!!

Otherwise the shopping went well, as you can see:

LOL a photo of me waiting outside the toilet for Cheesie. I couldn't take it anymore and had to sit down... Next to some lady's veggies. To her credit the veggies were very fresh-looking. But they were super out of place in a shopping mall!

Cabbing back to the hotel! I love HK because you can easily, and affordably cab everywhere. :)

After putting our shopping down Cheesie and I try a roast goose restaurant just below our hotel. It's a famous one!

Ok you see Cheesie smiling away very happily right? Wanna know the reason?

"He" is just at the right of the picture. There is very funny story attached to this picture ok and I swear, what is the best pun I've ever heard, at the end of it.

So basically, when Cheesie walked into the restaurant the dude, who is quite cute, smiled at her. For goodness knows what reason she chose to sit on that side of the booth, so I had a clear view of the dude while she doesn't.

Now throughout his entire meal (eating alone), the dude was giving this REALLY grumpy face. Like seriously, so grumpy that I considered maybe he got fired or was severely constipated.

I kept telling Cheesie I cannot believe he smiled at her coz he did not once look over at our direction nor give any indication he is capable of smiling.

And then the dude's straw dramatically rolled off his table. 

He tried to catch it but it fell on the ground. He considered picking it up, but decided to just scowl.

Like I've NEVER seen anyone give THAT exaggerated a reaction to something as silly as dropping a straw. He rolled his eyes to the back of his head and gave a giant sigh!

After I described his reaction to Cheesie, she looked at me for a moment... And she said...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Maybe it's the last straw."

GOOD OR WHAT?? After this we laughed for a really long time and couldn't stop.

Super yummilicious double boiled soup

Vulgarly delicious looking roast goose. It could have been crispier but it's still good.

Erm and I spilled some food on my white top so I went to change into a new dress that I just bought:

Might as well change hairstyle too.

If you noticed Cheesie at the background ALSO changed her entire outfit (AND hair) - not out of necessity but vanity. LOL

Seriously lor she is one of the vainest girl I've ever met. Ok, she is not THAT vain, but usually when you think of a vain person they are mostly quite lazy, right? But Cheesie is vain AND hardworking. Which is a lethal combo lol.

I love it. Without her being so zealous about dolling up I'd have slacked the whole trip!

We are ready for part 2 of shopping!

DNA Mall... Located right smack beside Park Hotel!

Didn't take pictures inside. The shopping is good but it's most quirky stuff like ornaments and novelty gifts. Also menswear.

After that we proceed to fa yuen gai... Translated as Garden Street.

OMG! I love the fruits there!! I've never ever seen such ginormous lychees in my life! Bought a pound and seriously those are the juiciest, yummiest fruits I've ever had wtf. I love lychees but giant lychees are WAY better. Burst in your mouth and 100% sweet. Not sour at all. GAH want some now.

Us shopping for shoes...

And since we were not hungry for dinner yet, we decided to go for foot reflexology!

The water did not turn that colour due to my dirty feet.

Best decision EVER. After a long day of shopping, nothing feels better. Except that some weird old Arab dude was sitting next to Cheesie and chatted her up. I told her in Chinese: "Please stop talking to him or he will stalk us back to the hotel and rape you. Which is fine but he might rape me after." Cheesie replied that she is too polite for her own good.

We dine at this restaurant called Sweet Dynasty. I suspect Cheesie chose it coz it's also a pun.

For non-Chinese readers, the Chinese name of the place is "Tang Dynasty". Tang also means

sugar/sweet. #punexplained

SUPER yummy porridge!! Better than Crystal Jade's (which I think is already super nice).

Carrot cake very good too. But Dynasty's prices are not cheap so we were considering for a bit if we should order a "luxurious" dish. We gave in and did:

Broccoli with scallops. It was good but not luxuriously good.

For dessert this pudding thingy which tastes like soya beancurd

And back to the hotel for one more night... Because next morning... We fly to Otaru!

Rise and shine! Best part about the Hong Kong airport?

THERE IS A DISNEYLAND STORE.

You don't even need to enter Disneyland to buy Disney stuff! And they have Duffy!

Here's Cheesie posing with a giant $200 Duffy. She wanted to buy it. Ridiculous. I told her Duffy is like so over, please don't.

Which is ironic coz I bought a little duffy to hang on my bag. LOL! What? I wanted a puffy thing to accompany me on lonely plane rides and this Duffy comes with a bag strap and a little zip where I can put stuff into! #excuses

OK I bought it because it is super cuddly and cute. Look, it's looking up at me with adoration!

And p/s: Our flight was SUPER empty so we both had a whole row to ourselves to lie down on!! BLISS x 100000

There's our plane! Next post will be about JAPAN! :D

***************************

Envious of my trip?

Don't need to be!!

It is Park Hotel Group's 50th anniversary this year and to celebrate that, they are choosing FIFTY (YES FIFTY) lucky participants to stand a chance to win a 3D2N holiday package for 2 to either Singapore, China, Hong Kong or Japan!!

You can even pre-select your ideal holiday package based on themes such as Adventure, Culture, Gourmet or Romance!! (OMG DOES GOURMET SOUND FANTASTIC OR WHAT?)

Want to win it? Just visit

http://unlimiteddiscoveries.com

Share you most memorable moment on the site and you may win!! If you upload a memorable photo you can even win $5,000!! CRAZY!!!!!

OK JOIN NOW!!