Bali!!

Piccies taken from my Bali holiday! The trip is sponsored by Holiday Inn Resort Baruna Bali (not advertorial, just sponsorship), so thanks to M and A for this!! (And you also Ju Ju Seah!!)

Kaya toast and eggs before flying



At the airport. I was the only person in shorts besides Mike.
Seriously? Is it THAT cold??



We arrive at the gorgeous Holiday Inn.



Sea view



Served tea and cold towels



On our way to a nearby mall in Kuta.





I'm a MILLIONAIRE!!! Call me heiress!!

We were shocked when we saw that the sea was just RIGHT BEHIND THE MALL. (Called Discovery Mall or something)

The view from our suite!!!

And our hugeass balcony.

So thoughtful of them to put the clothes drying rack there for our wet bikinis!

Camwhoring













Few shots of the room



And a happy Mike



And me!

My outfit for the opening party of Envy, the beach bar at Holiday Inn.

I showed Mike this photo on my camera and I said "Thanks for taking this pic for me baby!"

He said "Oh, you are welcome".

I actually took the shot via self-timer. -_- Where got people like that anyhow claim credit one??

Gorgeous sunset... Hotel guests get to see this everyday



Ice sculpture





With flash and without... The beach lit up by many lanterns





Us seated







Mike and I with A and M... Sorry they requested anonymity so no faces!



Fashion show!

Fondue fountains of white and dark chocolate... Mike looks like he has all intentions to stab the fountain to death.

We had a fabulous dinner just lazing and eating off
beach chairs, staring out into the ocean...



Fireworks burning out the word ENVY

Day 2!

We take a longass car ride all the way to Ubud, where the famous Babi Guling store is!

Babi Guling supposedly, if I didn't remember wrongly, means roasted pork.

The place is packed with locals and tourists alike.



Awaiting food





FINALLY IT ARRIVES!!

The set comes with roasted suckling pig, juicy pieces of pork (really madly nice), rice, veggies with coconut, and...

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This disgusting sausage which looks madly disgusting. Nobody with us ate it, though Mike bravely took a nibble... He said taste like pig's blood.

And guess who came to look for us!!

Kenny, Ringo and their friends!



Picture!























Camwhoring outside the restaurant next to a temple.

Next we go to the Hanging Gardens...

It's this famous hotel up a mountain or some sorta hill... The ride up there was FUCKING SCARY!!

Bali's roads are not very developed and the roads are all narrow 2 way lanes... Potholes are aplenty and it even sometimes become one-laned because of vehicles parked on the roads!!

And if you tilt towards the edge, you literally fall off a goddamn cliff confirmed cannot find your body kind!!

Luckily we survived!

A Balinese staff brings us on a lift-ride



That's our 'lift'. It brings us down to the lounge area.



That's the tracks... Freaky right?

That's the lounge. We were told that the view is very nice, but when we rushed to see, we realised it was beyond nice... It was simply breath-taking!

There were 2 infinity pools... The REAL sort.

Literally if you fell off the edge of either pool you'd plunge to your untimely death.

We were so high up that all I could see below were forest, nothing else.

Mike looking awed





Everything was just so serene.



We couldn't resist sitting by the pool and bringing our drinks with us...

Sidenote: Dress only $9 with heart-shaped neckline and heart-shaped buttons! Awesome find!

Happy



Awesome for tanning but too bad I didn't bring my bikini and it wasn't sunshiny that day.



Airforce ad

Me giving an act cute face









Artistic boh!





That's a real cocoa fruit. I've never seen one before!



And that's it we go up the precarious lift again.

After this we go back to the hotel and explore the beach behind it...





Gorgeous!

We frolicked for a bit and went for a massage.







The super nice massage room.

Just what we wanted after a flight!

And, props to Holiday Inn's massage staff man!!

THE MASSAGE WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Like seriously the best I've EVER had!! They focused a lot on head massaging and even facial massaging, which imho is the best sort!!

After this we go to Jimbaran Bay for great seafood:

Located right next to the ocean... You can smell what you are gonna eat while they are alive, literally.

Avocado milkshake. Madly nice.

Corn from a vendor. They roast it and put some sort of burnt brown sugar (or maybe it's honey) with salt and loads of butter on it. It's so good omg.

Food!

Fish



A plate of Kang Kong for everyone, comes automatically with the meal.



Hugeass JUMBO PRAWNS



LOVE!



Check out Mike's corn... Eaten so messily!

It pisses me off!! I eat corn very neatly 3 rows by 3 rows. If 4 rows are left I get annoyed coz I don't know if I should eat 2 and 2, or 3 and 1, or 4 at one go.

OCD much? LOL

It was a lovely dinner! Thanks for the treat M and A. You guys are great!!


Day 3, Mike and I go on a boat trip to a little island off Bali!













Beautiful clear waters



First we into a submarine where we were invited to see underwater marine life...

This is the best photo I can take outta the windows but I must say I gasped!

The waters were so clear you can see to the bottom of the ocean floor and the fishies swam around the boat so closely we could see their gills!

I didn't know what I was expecting... Cloudy water I guess? Hahaha...

Turtle on the island being forced into cam-whoring with tourists.



Here's one tourist abusing it



Forced to take photos never mind, still expose people's genitals. Poor turtle...

COCK FIGHT!!









Squawk!





Weeeeeeee!





Our lunch... Person behind Mike looks so menacing.

Mike trying a Snake Fruit.

It's horrid. He said taste like "apple" but drier.

We were on a Pantoon and snorkelled too!!

Obviously no photos since my camera can't go underwater. Snorkeling was fun for about 15 minutes.

It was really quite something being able to be so close to the fishes and see all the corals, but after that I realised, together with the rest of the girls, I was drifting further and further away from the ship due to the current!

I panicked and freaked out coz I realised I didn't have enough strength to go back to the boat!!!

I grabbed Mike and told him to swim me back. LOL!! Loserish!

Anyway, after a while I started to get nauseous and the snorkel was pushing up against my columella (area between nostrils) in a really uncomfortable way due to my implant... Advice to Plasticzilla not to snorkel.

Mike was really enjoying himself though so I let him be and waited beside the boat for him.

After this we went tanning! The sun was glorious!!!

We were in a tour group with Taiwanese people so the tanning chairs were all EMPTY. I guess the Taiwanese all wanna be fair?

Back to the hotel and then to dinner:

R. McDonalds in Bali rides a surfboard.





Sunburnt Mike.

We couldn't find the place we wanted to go to (sells Prawns and Chips as recommended by a blog reader) so we just settled for any restaurant in Kuta...

I ordered something which compensated for my expectations of getting Prawns and Chips that night but this meal kinda sucked.

I know it LOOKS nice but the cream sauce was not at all creamy and was just salty! Weird.

Mike's seafood curry. Also not nice.

I was 100% positive for some reason that we had one more day to stay in Bali.

I told the hotel's GM Stephan (If I didn't remember his name wrongly) this, and he gave me a raised eyebrow but said nothing to the contrary.

Next morning at 11am he called and asked me if my flight is at 1pm later and asked me to double check.

THANK HEAVENS HE CALLED CAN?? I totally misread the date!!! Stephan's a savior man! On top of that he recommended us loads of nice places to go to (the places he recommended did not disappoint) and he is so nice and friendly too. =)

So in half an hour Mike and I packed up and left!!

I was so upset coz I thought I could go shopping the next day!! Boo!!

I kept apologizing to Mike over and over again but he wasn't angry. I came to the conclusion that he forgives my mistakes much more easily than I forgive his so I shall vow to be more accommodating in future. Ahem.

Paiseh!!!



And we arrive back in Singapore!

On a postnote, I must say that I am very impressed by Holiday Inn's staff! They are all so polite and sincerely nice. Like you can tell when someone's nice coz they are HAPPY, not coz they are paid to be. Ya know??!!

Anyway, I left my blackberry on a sofa coz I dropped my earring and was trying to find it back in haste. Another guest found it later (phone not earring) and returned it to the hotel staff, who passed it back to me.


THANK GOD! I was so flustered when I thought it was gone forever!! Honest people are awesome!

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Pumpkin's photos!!!


Naughty girl keeps biting my toes...















Classic head tilt

Anyway, she has this ring toy which I bought from Ikea. It's for babies. She likes to put her head and front paws through the ring, so that she's wearing the ring like a skirt or something.

It's sooooooo funny! We kept having to "rescue" her.

Looks so stupid

Here's one of Nano burying herself in bedding...

Many of you have asked where Picolove is. Pico is staying with my mom because Pico kept attacking Nano and bit Nano till Nano bled! So I had to separate them and now Pico is my brother's pet.


And I know you all think Pumpkin is really cute...


But here's how she looks like when she's freshly out of the bath...

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With a face only a mother can love.

Watch New Videos!!

OMFG! I am so slow in posting! Nonetheless, watch!!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



Stomping on grapes to make my own wine!
Betcha not atas enough to do that!!



Mythbusting... Watch me try to sneeze with my eyes open.
Disastrous results.


CHICK VS DICK



What appears to be a ghost hugging Kaykay is actually
Paul attempting romantic pottery but failing.



The tolerance challenge!
See who does better with all sorts of nonsense like tolerating pain!


THE SHAN AND ROZZ SHOW



Shan and Rozz interviews a true-blue Singaporean white boy!




And a transexual!
Watch the hosts ask all the questions you've been dying to ask!


BORED IN BIKINIS



Xuesha and Sonia reads cheam business mags and explains the hard stuff to you.



If you like girls with hypothermia, you should watch this.
Xuesha and Sonia speed-drinking slurpies in an
air conditioned room wearing virtually nothing.

Won a twitter fight today

As you all know I'm very active on Twitter.

Recently there has been a flood on Iran-related tweets, which I found to be really annoying.

I don't care about Iran and I wish that others who also don't will have the social courage to ADMIT THAT THEY DON'T INSTEAD OF PRETENDING.

Once Mike asked a group of people if they are more bothered about a raging toothache or a group of people dying in some far-off country.

Most people in the group obviously answered the toothache.

Only if you are comfortable yourself will you be able to show empathy for others. You think hungry homeless people are passionate about helping other hungry homeless people find food??

And even IF you are comfortable, I don't see why one can't choose to be apathetic if one deems fit.

I don't care about Iran, because I don't know anyone there, I don't think I can make a difference and I am simply not interested.

Up till today I just have no idea what's happening there. And don't bother telling me, didn't I just say I'm not interested?

By being apathetic and self-centred I am not making the situation any worse or any better.

So I don't see why I can't be. Am I being hard-hearted, selfish, or cruel? I don't fucking think so! I'm just being APATHETIC.

Being ignorant is my choice and a result of how little interest I have in a situation.

I am not harming anyone and I shouldn't be judged for it!

You know who else also doesn't care? Probably your parents/grandparents. Go fucking lecture then on their ignorance instead of me.



Anyway, today, I tweeted that 'I'm gonna slit my wrists if I read another Iran-related tweet'.

Of course, out pops an Iran Enthusiast called @rainorchid.

Rainorchid told me to go slit my wrists then because so many people are suffering and all I can think of is how I don't like reading Iran tweets.

I replied:

Yeah and what are you doing? Go to Iran and fight instead of tweeting then! Hypocrite.

And he replied something to the effect of "I WOULD IF I COULD" and blabbered some lame excuse for not going.

So I said:

You would if you could? I'd buy you a one-way air ticket there. Dare you take up this challenge?

At this point Rainorchid mumbled something about me issuing a "death threat" (WTF??? SIAO) and going on about some other incoherent nonsense about how I lost a fan... And started to delete all his tweets!

CAN YOU SAY COWARD??

It's so bloody easy to just TALK.


Are you willing to go all the way for Iran? Instead of just TWEETING on a computer about an issue you are supposedly dead passionate about?

So convenient. "I would if I could"

I also would donate $10 million to Iran IF I COULD. I can say that because I don't have $10 million!!! I got a few thousand but alas! I need to buy Juicy Couture so I simply cannot spare any for Iran! This makes me a moral saint!


And then? When I offered to pay for the air ticket what happened? What other things could be stopping him? Drop everything in your comfort zone and fly there to help!

You can be passionate about an issue, but don't you dare lecture others. Others who are simply uninterested in your perspective. Keep your judgmental pompous mouth shut and make yourself useful via action, not by passing judgment on others.

Will complaining about how cruel Xiaxue is make the situation in Iran any better? Noooo... Save your energy. Donate your salary to worthier causes.


And face it: You are just being semi-charitable to make yourself feel better. It makes you feel superior, like you are a good person. In a way, that's even more self-centred than being apathetic.


If you really care, you would go ALL THE WAY like Mother Teresa. Go ahead and give up your life. No more air-con rooms for you! Mother Teresa can lecture me. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.


You know what this reminds me of? MORAL VEGETARIANS.

Eating animals is unkind, but when you confront them that eating plants also kills animals what do they do? Nothing. Avert their eyes and continue their hypocrity. Just as long as they not still in their comfort zone.


Everyone's just as useless as I am but at least I am not pretending to not be.


p/s: Love the Maddox post and I've linked him about a million times. It's just so good!
p/p/s: Now the Orchid is saying dunno what rubbish about having family in Iran. I see. You have a computer, internet connection, and the freedom to tweet continuously for hours, but you are unwilling to give all that up for Iran. Very, very selfless.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Flash Mob Piccies + Singapore River Festival!

Advertorial

Here are the piccies for the flash mob!!!

It was awesome! Even though it was sweltering hot, SO MANY PEOPLE CAME!

OVER 200!!!!!!!!

And having press coverage too!

I almost couldn't believe how enthu you guys are.

Honestly man... Boss Ming and I were wondering what's going to happen if nobody came at all. But loads did! :D

And for those who came to "follow" me, thanks for the support, betches!

I didn't take pictures myself coz I was busy handling the dog, so here are some official ones!

Check it out:




'Flashers' waiting in line.

Looped all the way around the field. I was one of the first to arrive and I was talking to people and when I turned around, I was SHOCKED to see so many people!!

Nuffies are always generous with GOODIE BAGS



Yay!



Huiwen abusing the loudspeaker

With readers!!!



:D

Me! And BTW my photos are photoshopped.

If you'd like to see my fat jawline and still-big nose you can check out the photo set HERE.

Also, I never zhao geng here ok! I magnified and checked! It's impossible to zhao geng when you have such fat thighs.

I love ya all!! Ok lah since I know none of you personally, it would be more honest to say... I love the attention y'all pile on me! Weeeeeee!

Any takers?



My readers are so young. Feel damn old!



That dude in the jacket must be melting!



And we dance!



And pillow fight!



Check out my blonde head.
We were attracting so much attention from the onlookers.



Is everyone looking at me or Pumpkin?



Flash and the event is over! Our "group" snaps a shot.



Goodie bag time!



Success! Applause!!


CHECK OUT THE VIDEO:




AND GUESS WHAT............


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ARE YOU??


I AM!


And it's happening TODAY!

The SINGAPORE RIVER FESTIVAL is the largest sundown party by the river and an exciting free-access multi-faceted festival for everyone’s enjoyment!

What happening on the 19th of June:

Specially guided tour by Nuffies who will bring bloggers around the SRF

Ultimate PJ Party @ The Arena awaits you!

• Free entry into The Arena with 2 free drinks
• Performances by The Arena All Stars.
• Party away with the likes of groovy music all night long
• "Ticket" to the entry is the Red Stress Ball given out during the Flash Mob
• DRESS CODE: PYJAMAS (ATTIRE IS COMPLUSORY FOR FREE ENTRY)

You guys got to come!!


The party starts at 7.45pm at the Main entrance of The Central Mall (In front of Azabu SaboHokkaido Ice Cream Shop).


Be sure to come in your SLUTTIEST pjs because we Singaporean bloggers cannot lose out to the Malaysian bloggers who attended the KL PJ party dressed to the max!

What's happening from 19th June till 27th June:

There are many activities organised purely to entertain you by the Singapore River Festival.

Some examples are bumboat rides, flea marts (my favourite), Jazz recitals by the river, musicals... and so on!

Check out how pretty the Bumboat rides are!

If you want to bring your partner out for a romantic, different date, I think you can definitely consider this! Somemore free! Haha!


For more information, you can check out:

SINGAPORE RIVER FESTIVAL'S WEBSITE

CALENDER OF EVENTS



Cool huh? I'd see you guys at the party tonight! And I'm doomed I don't know what PJs to wear. -_-

I hate insects

(Post half-written about a month ago)


Today I was thinking about how much I hate household insects.

My old list of insect hates used to be:

1) Lizards

2) Cockroaches

3) Flying Beetles

4) Wood-boring beetles

5) Mosquitoes

6) Moths

7) Flies

8) Ants (easy to kill la)

In an amazing twist, flies now top the list as they give birth to maggots. Fuck flies.

So anyway, as I was saying, I hate insects. So do you. I presume you are a normal being reading my blog, not an insect-loving lunatic.


Now... humans can taser lions, shoot rockets into space, invent electricity, etc - why the fuck are we losing the battle against muthafucking insects living in our homes?!

Someone's got their priorities wrong

In drier and colder climates maybe this is not so much a problem as in tropical humid countries like Singapore, so I'm just talking about Singapore here.

When I was in the states, I saw that "geckos" (another name for fucking disgusting house lizards) were kept as PETS!

That's right! Mushy rubbery fuckers with protuberant eyes and tails that fall off and innards that are visible underneath translucent skin - are loved, fed, and have a price tag on them!

WTF!

In fact, when I went to Mike's aunt's place, they showed me a lizard's skeleton that was kiaped in a door frame. They said that lizards were really rare and seemed to like the skeleton.

When asked for my opinion on it, I merely grimaced. If only they lived in Singapore lizards shit on their kitchen counter!!!


Henceforth, to aid fellow Singaporeans get rid of pests living in their house, I suggest the following methods:

1) Screened doors and windows.

So here's the age-old question:

Should I open the window?

Yes for air, no for insects flying in. Therefore, I want a window that can let in air and not let in insects.

The answer is so simple: Screen the goddamn window!

In my dream home I have windows closed all the time with the aircon on 24/7, but right now I can't afford to do that - and besides, having so much A/C on is bad for the environment.

Not that I really care about the environment though. I am just saying that to applease the environmentalist segment of my blog readers, who are probably smiling and nodding in approval right now.

Anyway even if I do have so much money, I can't possibly A/C the kitchen also, since you need to let cooking smells air out, etc.

Therefore, screen windows!

Further to screen windows, I also suggest double screen windows.

That is, two screens that are set about 1 inch apart.

The outer layer screen will have a high-voltage electricity charge running through it.

Everytime a fly or bird tries to transpass into your private property, they will fizzle, shriek, and either lose a good wing or die.

(Pigeon with burnt beak. Hilarious!)

The inner screen is to make sure you don't go touch the outer screen, and to doubly make sure any flexible and electricity-resistant insect won't through. I know, if he went through the first what's to stop him going through the second one, right?

Get off my back!

And what do you mean rain will short-circuit my electric screen? My screen is rain-smart so it can detect rain and stop electricity then, ok!

Further to maiming birds and frying insects, this can also deter burglers. Not that burglers are very common in Singapore, but prevention is better than cure.

2) Airtight cupboards.

Most people have some sort of 'Dry Food cupboard' to store their instant mee, chips, cornflakes, canned food, etc.

Even if every single item of your food products are sealed up properly, this cupboard will never fail to attract lizards, roachs and ants.

(I am beginning to suspect that insects can read food labels.)

The answer? A magnet and some rubber tubings.

Just like a fridge, except not cold inside.

Maybe it would be a good idea to add a hippo dehumidifer inside said cupboard too.

Eh, will it get very hot inside and ruin the food? Ok lor, maybe give this cupboard a little screen window too.

I also want to air-seal all my cutlery and crockery too!

Fuck man. When I was a kid my mom used to insist I rinse my forks and spoons instead of using them directly out of the cutlery drawer.

I used to think she was bonkers since the utensils are all washed clean before being put into the drawer. For years I ignored her.

One day, I saw an albino cockroach (slightly less gross than a normal one, but still a roach) happily crawling on the dessert spoons when I opened the cutlery drawer. I should have listened to Momo. :(

Air-sealed = Ok to use forks and spoons direct from the drawer.

That's presuming any insects managed to get pass your mighty screen windows and doors in the first place.

3) The sink as a deathtrap.

Humans can survive for weeks without food but only 3 days without water. Don't trust my statistics coz I can't be bothered to research them properly, but I think that's about right.

Since muthafucking lizards have porous skin, I presume they also need a hell lot of water to survive, just like humans. Roaches, not so much.

That's why we always see lizards crawling in kitchen sinks. (Or am I just unlucky here??)

Whenever I see this happen, I always spray the lizard with water until it is dizzy and meanwhile, squeeze dish-washing liquid all around the sink's edges.

Then I stand there and laugh as the lizard attempts to crawl out but keeps slipping back into the bottom. It's funny in a my-skin-is-crawling-but-why-am-i-smiling? way.

If it's small enough, I will try to force it down the drain. If it's too big... Well I managed to squeeze an adult one before... Maybe can chop it in half first....


But what if I am not around!?? I don't want any water-stealing lizard to survive, do I?

Therefore, I demand that a scientist should invent Lizislide. (Catchy isn't it??) Lizislide shall be the name of a stone material that is so smooth, lizards cannot hold a grip on it.

(There is a spray that creates this effect, but sprays wash off...)

Lizislide shall be used to construct all sinks. It will be a revolutionary product.

At the bottom of the sink shall be an insinkerator.

This "food" grinder can be set to "Automatically detect food and grind cruelly" during the night when you are not free to manually kill your pests.

So here goes:

Lizard is thirsty.

Lizard goes into sink, hoping to find water, maybe food bits if lucky.

Lizard happily crawls into sink; slides downwards rapidly; realises impending death as it sees insinkerator looming.

Lizard frantically waves hands, hoping to break the deadly fall; succeeds.

Lizard attempts to crawl out of sink.

After 6 attempts, almost makes it halfway when gravity did the inevitable and it drops into insinkerator with a sorry plop.

Insinkerator detects new "food"; makes a loud beep sound to warn lizard, but futile as lizard is trapped and does not understand beeps anyway; grinds lizards into paste.

At least lizard is not thirsty anymore - coz dead lizards can't thirst!!

HAHAHAHA!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

And anyway if Lizislide works then loads of walls can all be made with Lizislide!

4) Sprayable Lizard Spray

I know, Sprayable Lizard Spray sounds so corny... And also, this post is turning into another Lizard Hating Post.

Whatever.

I've come to realise that I hate encountering lizards way more than roaches because my killing rate of a roach is about 99%.

The only times I manage not to kill it is when it manages to run underneath a low cupboard which is too heavy for me to move.

But normally I am very determined for its death and I have 100% faith in the insect sprays nowadays!

Seriously man... About 3 sprays on the roach (even in midair) and the roach turns on its back pleading for mercy! At this point I'd grab it with loads of tissue, hold it as far as humanly possible from my face, and flush it down the loo.

But shitass lizards are muthafucking difficult to kill!

Killing rate is maybe 50% if I try hard enough. Nowadays I don't bother killing the big lizards coz it's just so goddamn gross.

They move so fast and sprays don't work on them!

The only way to kill them is via smacking, and there are not many objects around for you to smack them with that are hard enough and you don't mind dirtying.

I particularly like using the tinfoil roll. Tissue boxes don't work coz they are too soft. Just a note.

So therefore, here's a million dollar idea for Baygone: Why not a lizard spray?

Every spray shoots out a substance that can:

- Erode the lizard's disgusting skin. Just like how salt is to slugs. They can't be that different!

- Form into a spiderweb-like sticky piece to trap lizard in place while humans find an object to smash it with.

- Come up with something yourself, goddamn scientists! Do I have to tell you everything?

BTW I once sprayed a lizard with my Veet Hair Removal Cream. I don't think it worked. Or maybe it did make its skin hairless and silky.

I inadvertently made a bloody lizard more sexy.